daddy

A week and a half.

I need to stop mentally beating myself up. I need to accept that he’s gone and I’m sad. I need to stop apologizing for being sad, for crying at the drop of well, anything. I hear a song, and I cry, I think of something and I cry, I watch something, I cry. I cry, cry, cry, cry.

Does this ever get easier?

I almost picked up my phone to text my dad last night. And then I remembered, and started crying. I didn’t talk to him as much as I should have. I definitely didn’t see him as much as I should have. But, whenever I did call or text, he always returned it and was so happy to hear from me. That is what I will hold on to.

I’ve looked through good text messages recently. I have the screen shots saved to my phone. I need to get a Drop Box and upload them there. For now, I have them to look at.

I have way too much alone time on my hands at work. Too much time where I’m just all alone, and that is very sad.

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