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Living here.

Not just here. Well, here is a big part of it. But, here, Arizona. What a mistake. Although brief, and definitely not enough time at all, but I’m so glad I had the precious time with my dad that I actually did have…just so not enough. I would have spent so much more if I could.

Here. Where we live/where I work. It’s been horrible. I work 12 hours per day (sometimes longer), 6 days per week. I get one day off per week (if I’m lucky!) Tonight, I almost lost it in front of my boss’ wife. Because of a horrible situation that took place about a month ago.

Here’s the situation: It was about 12:30am, and this belligerent, drunken woman comes up to the night window. She is yelling because she can’t find the father of her children. I tell her it’s late and I can’t give out any information. She says she’s going to call him and try to find him that way, and because of this, I think she has left. I was wrong. I get a phone call, and it’s this crazy chick cussing up a storm because she thinks it’s her ex “fucking around” on her. I told her I refuse to listen to this and hang up. (Mind you, I have to answer proper at work, because it’s well, work.) Then she comes back up to the window, apologizes to me because she realizes she called the front office. I tell her it’s late and she should come back tomorrow. She says no she’s going to go find him and gets louder and louder. So my boss ends up coming out because the crazy one woke him and his wife up. He tells me to go tell her to leave property now or I have to call the police. So I did that, and that’s when things got out of control. She starts cussing at me, pushing and grabbing me, it was bullshit and she was causing a scene. Two grown men had to pull her away from me so she didn’t do anything else. She was also yelling and threatening things (all because I told her to leave) I walk away, pissed, while my boss finally gets out there, I call 911, he calls 911. That was just one thing. I’ve worked here almost 15 months. I brought this up, because I saw this woman on site tonight, and I WAS NOT HAPPY.

Oh I have stories, most are NOT like the above, but a few close calls. However, since living/working here, I have not taken one single day off. I’ve worked with a 102 degree fever. I’ve worked here while having to run to the bathroom to puke with the stomach flu and with having food poisoning. I’ve worked here on as little as an hour or no sleep because that’s what I was scheduled for. I’ve worked for over 16 hours in a day and had to come back in four hours to do my 12 hour shift. When I say “I’m tired,” I’m very tired. When I say I’ve had a rough night, I’ve had a rough night. When I say I’m okay, I’m saying it so I don’t burden you with the details of this shit hole.

Adie is great. She puts up with all of my complaining, and venting, and I take advantage of that too much, and take things out on her, and that’s not fair of me. She takes too much of my bullshit because I’m so sick of this place, my venting turns into crap. I try to separate work/home life, and that’s just super difficult for me, and I’m trying. I love her so much and she deserves better from me. I think this blog will help with that too. Give me somewhere to vent, to take out my aggression’s, because I shouldn’t do that on a person, especially my love. If I didn’t have her, I’d lose my freaking mind.

We are working to get out of here. It’s hard, it’s not fun, it’s lonely. I’m not lonely with her, we are lonely here. We miss our family. We miss our friends. We feel isolated. I feel like I’m a broken record with saying that. I feel like I’m such a downer sometimes because I complain about this place so much. I feel like this place sucks the life out of me. I’ve worked 72+ hours per week for the last almost 15 months. I can’t do this much longer. We are saving to move out of here. We are saving to move out to our own apartment. It shouldn’t be too much longer now. It’s just a slow process, but it’ll happen. We will make it happen.

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